From The Worst, To The Best
by x snow-pony x
Summary: Tracy/ Mike one-shot set in Chain Reaction when Mike has the day off. Nothing else to say really.


**A/N So, I had this idea earlier for a one-shot, and thought I should write it. Basically it's set in Chain Reaction on the third day, but Mike has the day off. Hope you enjoy it. :-)**

 **Tracy POV**

My head was spinning with thoughts as I entered the office. The phone call to Seth this morning really should have helped, but his revelation that he'd met someone else had just added to my problems. And now I had no one to turn to. Mike had the day off today as well, and I was dreading it.

As much as I would have hated to admit it at the time, Mike did a lot for me when I was younger. His cheer up jokes may have been rubbish (much like his magic tricks with the 50ps), but when I needed advice he was always there, and he knew exactly what to say.

I wished I had the courage to ask for his advice now.

He'd asked me what was wrong yesterday, and I'd been that close to telling him. But the fact that I'd lied about the files, as well as left them all over the office, had stopped me, because I didn't want Mike to be angry at me.

Gina's voice interrupted my thoughts as I put my bag and coat down on the chair near the office door.

"Oh, Tracy, I'm glad you're here," she said. "I..."

I paused, looking around the room. "Where have they gone?"

"What do you mean?" asked Gina.

"The files," I said. "I had them in piles, alphabeti..."

"I put them back," said Gina. "As I told you yesterday, you should have cleared them up. They were everywhere!"

"But I had a system!" I said. "I was going to sort it, I just..."

"Tracy, stop!" said Gina. "Just go and see the kids. They're making so much noise because of making this paper chain I can't even hear myself think."

I gave her a look and a frustrated sigh, before I turned and left.

* * *

About half an hour later I was in the kitchen. As I'd left the office I'd managed to walk into the kids and said paper chain, and now the kids were all standing round the kitchen table, trying to untangle it.

After letting them rustle the chain and argue with each other for a few more minutes I snapped and told them to go elsewhere. I then only had a minute or so of peace before Carmen came in telling me about how her and Elektra had fallen out. I sorted it as best I could, before I left to go to the living room, feeling as if I should follow the kids that had left even though it was much nicer without them making the noise they had been.

As I got to the door of the living room my phone beeped, and I looked to see a message from Seth, saying 'Sorry x'. I put my phone back into my pocket before I braced myself and went into the living room to sort out the noise and arguing.

I soon regretted it.

As I entered the room I looked around me, my eyes darting from one shouting kid to the next. They all wanted my help, but right now I couldn't help any of them.

I needed them to help me.

As the shouting continued I felt my breathing begin to speed up, and I put my hand to my chest, feeling my rapid, pounding heartbeat.

As the kids' voices got louder I began to step back, trying desperately to get away from the noise. Gus was telling me off, Lily was calling me over, Carmen was saying something... All the voices just echoed and merged together until I couldn't hear what was being said anymore.

I heard Gina come up behind me, before she yelled, "QUIET!"

The room feel silent, everyone staring at her and me. I let out a quiet "I can't... Breathe..." before I began to fall.

I don't think Gina noticed me, or I wouldn't have had to slam my hand into the floor as my legs gave way and the rest of my body followed. My breath was still rapid, my heart was still pounding, and the fear was overwhelming.

I allowed everyone to stare for a few seconds before I shakily got to my feet and just ran.

* * *

I ran to the spare staff bedroom, closing the door behind me and curling up on the bed, my body shaking. I still couldn't breathe properly, and, as my panic rose I looked to the door, hoping for someone to help.

I jumped as the door opened, and looked down as Gina came in and sat down next to me.

"Tracy, try and slow your breathing down for me, babes," she said, gently placing her hand on my shoulder. "It's OK."

I tried as best I could, but I couldn't manage. The panic was still racing through me, my panic from earlier, and a new panic now I knew I couldn't hide my feelings anymore.

My rapid breathing continued for a few minutes before finally I was able to breathe again. I took a few deep breaths before I turned away from Gina, not wanting to talk.

"Tracy," she asked, "what's wrong?"

I didn't answer her, fresh tears coming to my eyes and making their way down my cheeks.

"Do you want me to call Mike?" asked Gina. "I know you might find it easier talking to him."

I curled up tighter, not wanting to bother Mike on his day off, and wanting Gina to leave me alone.

I heard Gina leave the room, and continued to cry.

* * *

 **Gina POV**

As I left the room my heart went out to Tracy. She was obviously having a horrible day, and I wished I could be of more comfort to her.

I went down the the office to call Mike.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mike, it's me," I said. "Would it be possible for you to get here?"

"Why?" asked Mike. "Is there a problem?"

I sighed. "Tracy had a panic attack and collapsed in the living room. She..."

"I'm on my way," said Mike. "See you soon."

"Bye," I said, before Mike put the phone down.

I paused for a moment, before I went back up to see Tracy.

* * *

 **Tracy POV**

I was still crying when Gina came back in. I didn't want to be on my own, but at the same time I didn't want anyone around.

"Mike's coming," said Gina. "I called him. He's worried about you."

"I'm fine," I said quietly.

Gina gave a smile. "We both know that's not true."

I turned away from her, burying my head in a pillow. I was just feeling so confused at the moment, and all I wanted was for someone to end all of this.

Gina gently placed her hand on my shoulder. "Babes, do you want a hug?"

I slowly uncurled myself, nodding my head. Gina pulled me towards her and enveloped me in a hug. I rested my head against her, allowing myself to cry.

Gina had never shown that much compassion towards me, apart from when I'd decided to stay here instead of becoming a writer, but I guessed that she just wanted to do something to comfort me as I was upset. And for that I was grateful.

It wasn't long before we heard the front door opening, and Mike's footsteps.

"Gina?" he called. "Tracy?"

Gina let go of me and left the room, before she called down to Mike: "We're up here."

I heard Mike coming up the stairs, before he and Gina entered the room. I had curled up against the pillows again, hiding my face with my hair.

Mike knelt down next to me and gently moved my hair away, before brushing my cheek with his thumb. "I'm here. It's OK."

I nodded, more tears coming to my eyes. I closed them tightly, but it didn't stop a few tears from seeping under my eyelashes.

"What's wrong, Trace?" asked Mike softly.

I sniffled before opening my eyes, looking deep into his. I then glanced over to Gina, then back to him.

"Gina, could you possibly...?" said Mike.

"Oh, yeah, that's fine," she said.

"I'm sorry," I said. I didn't want to get rid of Gina, but I didn't feel I could talk to her.

"No, it's OK, I understand," said Gina, giving me a smile. "I'll leave you to it."

And with that she left, closing the door behind her.

"You want to tell me?" asked Mike.

I shook my head. Just a moment ago I had felt ready, but now I just felt just as confused as I had earlier, and I didn't feel able to speak.

"Do you know what happened in the living room?" asked Mike.

I shook my head again.

Mike sighed. "You had a panic attack."

That would definitely have explained how I had felt.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because there's something wrong, and then something happened in the living room that made it too much," explained Mike.

"Everyone was shouting at me," I said.

"Yeah, that definitely could have triggered it," said Mike. He paused. "What's been on your mind? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said quickly. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired, and things are probably piling up, and..."

I paused for a moment. Mike was only here because he wanted to help, and I knew he wasn't going to tell anyone else if I didn't want him to.

I took a deep breath. "Cam's staying in New York."

I saw Mike's face soften, before I buried mine back in the pillows. I'd told Mike what had been bothering me, but I didn't feel up to telling him how I was feeling, which I knew he'd ask.

Mike gently put his hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to tell me any more if you don't want to," he said. "I'm here to listen, and the more you tell me the more I'll understand and be able to help, but if you don't feel up to talking then I'll just be here."

I sniffled, before I slowly turned to face him. He took my hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"It's OK," he said. "I'm here now, and I'm not leaving."

Leaving.

That was something that everyone close to me recently had been doing, but Mike promising not to leave now allowed me to relax slightly.

"I'm so sorry," I said.

"For what?" asked Mike.

"For this," I said. "For making you come in on your day off, for scaring the kids, for not telling you..."

Mike shook his head. "Don't be sorry," he said. "It's not your fault."

I slowly sat up, wrapping my arms around Mike's neck as I started to cry. He hugged me back, gently shushing me.

"It's OK," he said. "It's OK."

I continued to cry, letting out all the hurt I'd been bottling up for the past few weeks. After a few moments Mike pulled away and sat on the bed next to me, allowing me to rest my head on his chest, curled up next to him as he held me.

"That better?" asked Mike.

I nodded, hugging him tightly.

Mike was silent for a few moments, before he began to speak. "How long is Cam staying in New York?"

"Six months," I said. "She was so excited."

"How do you feel about it, though?" asked Mike.

I didn't answer.

"Trace?" As Mike said my name he gently lifted my chin to look at me.

"I don't know," I said. "Anyway, the kids come first. Why aren't you with them?"

Mike gave a smile. "Because you need me more at the moment. Gina can sort out the kids."

I paused for a moment. "I guess, I guess I've just been feeling lonely.".

Mike gave another smile, trying to reassure me. "That's perfectly natural." He paused. "You could have come and talked to us, though. We would have been there for you."

"I didn't want to to be any trouble," I said.

Mike gave a slight chuckle. "That'd be a first." He paused for a moment. "Seriously, though, you wouldn't have been any trouble. It's what we're here for."

I looked down again as I realised I could have prevented this, if only I'd said something sooner. Tears came to my eyes again as I realised how stupid I'd been.

Mike looked down at me, and I hid my head in his shirt as tears made their way down my cheeks again.

"Hey," said Mike, "it's alright."

"I should have said something," I said, "then I could have stopped all of this. I..."

"No, stop there," said Mike. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sure you had enough going on in your head to make it hard to know what the right thing to do was. But you've done the right thing now."

He paused for a moment, before he continued.

"And let me tell you something, I'm so proud of you, Trace," he said. "You've been living on your own for the first time, you've struggled, but you've carried on and put others before yourself. And even though it wasn't the right decision for you you did it anyway. And that's why I'm here now."

As Mike spoke the tears flowed faster and faster, probably mostly in relief that Mike still cared. This morning when I'd got in, and yesterday after the file incident, it had seemed like they would do anything to get rid of me, but now I knew that I'd been wrong, and I knew that they would both always be there to look after me if I needed it.

Mike hugged me tighter as I cried, once again proving me right. I allowed myself to relax, allowing him to protect me from the world that I'd been fighting alone for weeks now. It felt like he was shielding me, like nothing could hurt me anymore.

I wanted to stay like this forever.

After a few minutes of silence Mike began to speak again.

"You don't have to work the rest of today," he said. "I can cover your shift, and you can have some time out to relax."

"Here?" I asked.

"Of course," said Mike. "If you want to, of course. I didn't think you'd want to go home at the moment."

I nodded, before another thought popped into my head.

"Will I have to go home tonight?"

"Um..." said Mike, obviously trying to think of an answer.

"I keep having nightmares," I said quietly, slightly ashamed that someone like me got nightmares like those. "Please let me stay."

I looked up at Mike, my eyes red and my cheeks tearstained, and I knew he wouldn't be able to tell me no.

Mike gave me a smile. "Of course you can stay," he said. "I was just trying to work out where you could go, as I'll need to cover your night shift as well, won't I?"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"No, it's not your fault," said Mike. "It's just difficult circumstances, and I understand that. But you can definitely stay."

I hugged Mike tightly, sure that I would have a better night's sleep here at the Dumping Ground than at home, and knowing that even if I did wake in the night Mike wouldn't be very far away.

"Thank you," I said. "For everything."

Mike smiled. "You're welcome, Kiddo," he said. He gently lifted my chin again so I could see his face, filled with worry. "Just, please promise me that next time you'll come and talk to me, OK? About anything. I'm always here."

"I promise," I said. I paused for a moment. "Do you promise?"

"Promise what?" Mike asked gently.

I looked down as I realised asking it aloud would sound stupid. I wanted to know if Mike would always be there, if I could really talk to him about anything, and that he wouldn't get mad. I looked into his eyes, and then saw an understanding come to his face.

He gave a smile. "I promise."

The seriousness in his eyes told me he meant it, and that was all I needed to reassure me that Mike would never go back on his word.

And I sure as hell was never going back on mine, not after today.

"Now," said Mike, "what do you want to d..."

He trailed off as he saw I was crying, earlier events still going round my head. I was still so confused, and I didn't know how I'd be able to carry on after Mike left. He was my rock at the moment, holding me together like pieces of shattered glass to make sure I didn't break again, and I wasn't sure I was quite ready for him to let go, literally or metaphorically.

Mike smiled. "I think the answer to that question is stay here a little longer." He gently stroked my shoulder with his thumb, still holding me close, before he kissed the top of my head, telling me that he loved me, and wasn't going to leave. I settled.

Today, heck, these last few weeks, had been hard, but I knew now that I was loved, and that I had Mike and Gina by my side going forward.

Soon I'd be ready to face the future again, but I gently but firmly pushed that thought out of my mind as I concentrated on the here and now, so, so glad that Mike was here.

I didn't know what I would have done without him and Gina, and I didn't particularly want to think about it either.

But it didn't actually matter what could have happened, only what did happen.

And what did happen? Well, let's just say...

I realised I wasn't alone, and that I mattered.

And right now, that was the best feeling in the world.

 **A/N I've stayed up late to finish this, but oh well, I wanted to get it done, as I started it ages ago and I want to actually get it up! XD Hope you liked it, please review. :-)**


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